are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
