my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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