I have demons in me.
My balls are so social today.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
