oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You are a genius and a whore.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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