We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
