Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I made him laugh his dick is mine
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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