Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
