Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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