"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
