people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
