: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize