you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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