It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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