My sheets look like a crime scene.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
