It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
