dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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