she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
