it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
