i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
