yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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