I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
it's great music for shaving your balls
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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