ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
