Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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