I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
