Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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