We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
