is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
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