Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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