Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
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