she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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