I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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