apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
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