I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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