Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
