is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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