She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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