i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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