also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
