On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
