Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
