they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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