I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
