Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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