508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
