Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
