All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
