I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
