It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
