shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
