We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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