The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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