i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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