Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
