i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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