oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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