hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
