at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
