I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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