I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
