I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
