Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
