I heard we made out
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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