Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
