I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
