My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
