The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
